Positive Talk and Overcoming Perfectionism: Changing Your Inner Dialogue

I've found that saying positive things makes me more positive. I'm a pessimist. I get very stressed when things might or do go wrong, and then I foolishly eat. So, I wrote down three positive statements and stuck them on the refrigerator. I promised to read them aloud at least once a day. At first, I was quite annoyed. But I forced myself to keep doing it. I could feel the exact moments they worked. I had a terrible day, and as I was about to tear open a lollipop, I heard a voice in my head, "This isn't the end of the world, tomorrow will be better!" Then I put the lollipop down. This is one of the statements I stuck on the refrigerator. It easily entered my consciousness. When I'm not looking at them, they somehow exist in my subconscious. It's a painless way to improve my mood and stop stress eating.

------Brenda

Brenda said, "You become what you think." Although this statement was made centuries ago, it remains true today. If your thoughts are positive, you will act in an uplifting way. If you can calm yourself down through non-food methods, you will act in that way. If you think it's impossible, you won't even try. This shows that your thoughts possess enormous power.

So how do you convince yourself that non-food self-soothing is possible? Speaking positively is an effective step. These should be positive, confirmatory statements about yourself. They are the opposite of negative self-suggestion. You can use this to retrain your brain so that you can think about your self-soothing abilities with confidence and positivity.

Critical self-suggestion can backfire, undermine your confidence, and make you doubt your ability to change unhealthy eating habits. Positive words focus your awareness on positive thoughts, helping you maintain the belief that change is possible. You can also direct positive words at different aspects of your life. Here are some examples:

Physiologically: I have a healthy body.

Emotionally: I am a strong person, a survivor. I have successfully dealt with many difficulties in life. I am also able to manage emotional eating.

Intellectually: I am a smart person. I can find many logical ways to soothe myself, which are better than eating.

In terms of creativity: I know how to get out of this predicament. I can find many ways to deal with stress eating.

In interpersonal relationships: I deserve respect. When I take care of my body, I respect myself.

Self-soothing techniques: encouraging words to end stress eating

Adopting a more positive perspective requires some effort and practice. Say these statements aloud several times a day. You can train your brain to automatically bring these confirmatory statements into your consciousness. Choose one or more statements that resonate with you. Write these statements on cards and then stick the cards in an easily visible place, such as your car dashboard, mirror, door, or phone.

As you read these words, try to focus on the present. Instead of saying, "I'm going to learn how to stop stress eating," say, "I'm learning how to stop stress eating." Here are some examples that can help:

I'm trying to feel calmer.

Eating won't solve this problem.

I am good at dealing with challenges head-on.

I can do it, it just takes some time.

I can wait. My hunger will pass soon.

I can comfort myself without needing food.

After a few minutes, I felt less stressed. I was able to keep going.

I like to stay healthy.

When I feel good inside, my body also feels invigorated.

From Perfectionist to Realist

Nothing is more maddening than telling yourself, "You've messed it up, so you're probably going to give up completely." These words cost me the chance to stop stress eating.

------Tenny

Turny is struggling with what some clients call "zebra thinking," or more traditionally known as "black-and-white thinking." "Zebra thinking" is an extreme statement with no flexibility or gray area. "I always mess things up" is a good example of zebra thinking. The word "always" isn't entirely accurate. Words like "always" and "never" exaggerate the facts. Non-zebra thinking isn't extreme; it often describes the situation more accurately. For example, it's accurate to say you sometimes (but not always) engage in stress eating. The more extreme your thinking, the more extreme your actions will be.

Emotional eaters often employ a zebra mindset. They either believe eating is right or all eating is completely wrong. This thought process occurs frequently and automatically, sometimes without the emotional eater being consciously aware of it. It's important to be aware of your zebra mindset. This thought pattern can persuade you to overeat or give up entirely. A zebra mindset fails to see the difference between less and more emotional eating, when in fact, there is a significant difference.

Self-soothing techniques: Overcoming zebra thinking

Your task is to break free from old, black-and-white thinking. Here are some tips to help you choose more comforting and realistic ideas.

Pay close attention to triggering words. This includes absolute terms such as “always,” “never,” “certainly,” “perfect,” “disastrous,” and “impossible.” If you hear yourself saying these words, try to counter them with less extreme terms such as “sometimes,” “occasionally,” or “good enough.” In the case of eating, it is especially important to counter extreme words from sentences like “I am a complete failure,” “I ruined everything,” or “I can’t stop stress eating,” focusing on more realistic statements such as “I am often able to comfort myself with non-food activities.”

Set realistic expectations. Feeling overwhelmed often stems from facing impossible, unrealistic goals. Emotional eaters are often notorious for seeing themselves as failures. Statements like "I'll start eating only healthy food tomorrow" or "I'll never eat doughnuts again" are zebra statements. You need to give yourself some leeway for mistakes.

The two-minute rule. Emotional eaters often feel they must do things perfectly, or they'll give up. They might think they have to exercise for half an hour, or they won't exercise at all. To break free from this pattern, whatever you're doing, try to stick to it for two minutes. For example, try practicing self-soothing techniques for two minutes and see what happens.

Calm and relax your body

When life becomes unbearable, I become a complete stress eater. I immerse myself in this emotion and don't pay attention to what I'm eating. However, afterwards, I become very concerned about what I ate. I lack the emotional energy to help me make more decisions or find more ways to cope with stress. Eating helps me relieve anxiety. Because I can't escape the troubles of daily life, I have to find a way to deal with them. For example, turning off my phone for an hour helps me relax and gives me some time to recharge.

------Kali

Many stress eaters do so in the hopes of finding a way to relax. Eating a burger or ice cream is a way to relax and pamper the body. The good news is that there are many healthy ways to soothe your nerves and body without eating. Here, your task is to try new ways to relax. Paying more attention to your body helps you take better care of yourself. Fortunately, your body is one of the best natural tools for dealing with daily busyness and stress. Later, you will learn relaxation techniques, exercises, yoga, and other ways to satisfy your feelings. Soothing your body can make your mind less sensitive to stress.