Reconstructing the Emotional Logic of Self-Responsibility: Breaking the Vicious Cycle of Unhappiness Through Acceptance and Self-Love

Knowing yourself is just the beginning; you also need to accept and love yourself. This is a lifelong learning and practice process. In this process, sometimes you may be unwilling or afraid to face yourself. You will experience the pain of facing yourself, you may lose confidence in yourself, you may no longer want to be yourself, and you may even intentionally hurt yourself. But it is precisely this process that will make you stronger, make you like yourself more, and bring you more happiness. Don't give up; learn to enjoy this process. Self-discovery: You must take responsibility for yourself. Some people are overweight and always have various reasons: an unhappy childhood, too much pressure in school, an unhappy marriage, heavy family burdens, unsatisfactory career, others causing you pain, or significant events in your life. These reasons may have occurred in the past, and they may have affected your weight. However, our current state is of our own making. Everyone experiences various things in life, and various people cause them pain. While others should also bear responsibility, if you are an adult, you should, and you have the ability to, handle these issues; you should take responsibility for yourself. You should be responsible for your current state, and you should also be responsible for your future. Blaming others or other things because you don't like yourself is very easy, but it's just a waste of time. On the path to self-acceptance, this will only lead you astray, and you can't afford to waste your time. Only when you take responsibility for yourself can you begin to accept and love yourself. Know what you want: If you don't even know what you want, you're like a floating balloon, your life's direction controlled by external forces. Knowing what you want isn't enough; you also need to know why you want it-this is crucial. If you've ever tried to lose weight, you've likely experienced this. Before dieting, you might have thought that reaching a certain weight or figure would bring a life free of pain and trouble. However, when you reach that goal, you'll find that your life is still unhappy, and you have other worries. This unhappiness rekindles your old habits for coping with unhappiness. These old habits are your original eating or exercise habits. And so, your weight returns. Often, your excess weight is actually a good thing; it's a reminder that there's a problem in your life. You must figure out what your weight reflects. It might be a void in your life, or a desire not to disappoint others; it might indicate unhappiness, dissatisfaction with yourself or your life; or it might represent something else entirely. Ultimately, this indicates you're not receiving enough love and attention. In this situation, you'll typically seek that love elsewhere. You might try to fill the void with food or try to get others to love you. However, the love you truly need comes from within yourself. Learning to love yourself takes time. Many people never learn it in their entire lives. But this is precisely the driving force and source of your life, and it should and must be your goal. You can't suddenly learn it all overnight. But when you seriously examine yourself one day, even though you don't like your current weight and want to be thinner, you still love yourself. You know you're closer to that goal. So, you must first learn: first, understand yourself; second, take responsibility for yourself; and third, know what you want. Then, you should work towards that goal. If what you want is a beautiful body, you'll find that this process is also a process of self-discovery and self-love. Because you're doing something for yourself. You're loving and caring for yourself. This is a virtuous cycle that makes you feel good from the outside in. Shaping Your New Self: What is Body Image? Body image is the mental picture you create of your own body. It includes: 1. Your subjective perception and feelings about your body-your perception can be very positive or very negative. For example, if you had to describe your body in one word, what word would you use? Would you say, "I'm too fat," "I'm too ugly," "I'm too ugly," or use neutral terms like, "I'm still very healthy"? Or positive terms like, "I'm actually quite attractive, quite sexy." How do you view your body? Are you satisfied with your physique? Do you think others will think you're too fat? Are you unhappy with wrinkles on your body? Do you think your muscles aren't toned enough? If your answers to most of these questions are yes, don't be nervous or anxious, because most people feel the same way you do. The degree of dissatisfaction with your body is not directly proportional to the amount of excess weight. A person with a fuller figure may be very satisfied with their physique, while a person who is very thin may complain about every part of their body all day long. People who are thin are just as dissatisfied with their bodies, and you don't need to hate your body because you're overweight. So many people dislike their bodies that, like a lie repeated so often, it becomes the truth; everyone considers it normal. Being satisfied with your body is often seen as self-satisfaction and ridiculed. If you habitually use negative terms to describe your body, what you need first isn't weight loss, but rather to improve your body wisdom and view your body correctly, regardless of your current weight. Does she dare confidently lift her perceived large head, magnificent chest, and thick legs to find her own happiness? 2. Your view of body size-you might exaggerate your size. Your body is a visible, tangible, and measurable objective thing. You know how tall you are, how much you weigh, and the dimensions of your body parts. Body size is objective, and your mental measurement of your body should also be objective. But this is rarely the case, especially when you are dissatisfied with your body. If your subjective view of your body is negative, you will be less comfortable looking at your actual dimensions and less willing to use objective facts; you will prefer comparisons. It's as if other people's measurements are more objective than your own, and you know their measurements better! For example, if someone asks you how you feel about your breasts, the same person will have different opinions. If you prefer a slim figure, you might say, "My breasts are too big." But if one day you suddenly feel that a "busty" figure is what makes a woman, you might say, "My breasts are too small." Why do you come to two different conclusions with the same bust size and the same person? Because you used comparison, comparing your breasts to others! Why do you sometimes think your breasts are too big, and other times too small? It's not because humans are fickle, but because you are inherently dissatisfied with your breasts. If you are dissatisfied with your body, you will always be changing your comparison objects, choosing those that you cannot achieve, leading to dissatisfaction with yourself and trapping yourself in a vicious cycle of unhappiness. When you sit in a car, train, airplane, or theater, do you feel like you take up too much space? Do you avoid looking in the mirror because you don't want to see how large you are? Do you feel that a part of your body, such as your stomach, thighs, or hips, is too big? Do you feel like you become particularly fat after eating? Do you feel like your flesh is sagging when you walk or run? If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, you may be perceiving your body as too large. If you are struggling with your weight, you may be describing yourself as fatter than you actually appear in the mirror. Overweight people are especially prone to perceiving themselves as unrealistically fat. You may avoid looking in the mirror because you feel too fat. This way, you never have the opportunity to see what your actual body shape is like. On the other hand, if you frequently look in the mirror, your attention will be entirely focused on the parts you're unhappy with. All you'll see is your unpleasant round face, your "spare tire" belly, your thick thighs, and your large buttocks. How can you possibly have the mind to carefully examine yourself and accurately assess your overall image? If you find a large mirror and look at yourself from head to toe, as if scrutinizing someone else, objectively, you'll find that you're not as "imposing" as you think. Your large face is actually quite dignified, the "spare tire" on your belly is actually created by deliberately bulging it out, your thigh muscles are firm, and your large buttocks are actually quite round, making you look very feminine. If you don't follow the trend of being skinny, you are actually quite beautiful! Therefore, if you want to lose weight healthily, you first need to know whether you are actually overweight or not. In other words, you need to view your body wisely, have an objective and healthy view of it; understand your body, have an objective and realistic feeling about it; and respect your body. This is the key motivation for maintaining a healthy weight in the long term. Specifically, it's about your body image.